ITNOWIT #8: Insert sex joke here

Operation ITNOWIT #8

  • university campus
  • Friday 6/1/12
  • 7:45pm-10:45pm
  • student comedy/improv show
  • $3.00
  • Met B there (meeting #4)

Last night was the comedy show. It was held in one of the large lecture halls on campus, and I was surprised by the number of people and by the live music (sax, drums, electric guitar). I had been wary of the whole comedy show idea because I just find it so uncomfortable when people try to be funny and don’t succeed, and then we’re all looking at them. (I have an overdeveloped sense of empathy I think.) B told me, “To make things even more awkward, it turns out tonight’s theme is one night stands.” Great. We were in for a whole night of sex jokes thought up by college students.

Yes, the evening was filled with jokes about boners (we must have heard that juvenile term dozens of times in one sketch), blow jobs, rimming, and all other manner of sex-related scenarios. There was even a video section on meeting people (or animals, if that’s the way you swing) on craigs.list. There was a sketch about a backscratcher and a condom… This was high class comedy, let me tell you. At intermission, B asked if I wanted to go get some air, “or this is our chance to leave, if you want…” I thought I’d stick it out because I didn’t want to risk making him feel bad. If it had been the 21 year old me, I would have been mortified, but a decade of adulthood helped me find the whole situation pretty amusing.

The second half was the improv part of the night (with a wider range of subject), and they ended with all the graduating seniors sharing their favorite memories from being in the group. So that was much better. Though we were treated to some man nipples and a dollar bill in a butt crack. Ah, college humor.

B walked me home, and we joked about our track record–walrus-stomach art the day before, and now this…

I’m very aware that I could fall at any moment, clip my toe on uneven sidewalk and go down. I’ve gotten to the point that if I meet someone new and know we’re going to spend any significant amount of time together, I try to just get it out there, to highlight the basics of my cerebral palsy: it’s pretty much guaranteed that I will bump into you when we walk together, and it won’t be your fault. It’s pretty much guaranteed that at some point in our acquaintance I will trip on nothing and fall, but I haven’t needed stitches since I was six, so don’t be alarmed. I managed to communicate this, ungracefully. (I’ve learned it’s good to do it, but that doesn’t mean I’m good at it.)

Then we were at my door, and B called my cell so I’d have his number. He had teased me earlier, “You mean you don’t have any Rachmaninov or Bernstein mix cds for me for my drive to Vegas?” (The conference he’s going to is in Las Vegas.) See? I’m very easy to get to know. (I would not be able to tease him back yet about any of his interests.) I can rhapsodize endlessly about anything I love, and I love the music of Sergei Rachmaninov and Leonard Bernstein. We’d heard some Rachmaninov the day before, so it’s not totally out of context. Anyway, as it happens, I do have cds I’ve made of all my favorite music. (I took them on a long trip in the days before iPods.) So I invited him in, saying he could borrow them for the drive. Of course, I had them all in one place except the Rachmaninov, which was missing. So that was a bit embarrassing, and my house was stifling so I was getting all sweaty. But that was it, he left with some cds and plans to meet up again before he leaves for the conference on Wednesday.

There was again no touching. I felt immense relief, tempered by a bit of disappointment and not a little confusion. I had clicked on B’s OKC profile again to check his “interested in” answer. OKC keeps track of all traffic to your profile, so B will know whenever I look. Consequently, I didn’t want to appear obsessive or stalkery, but I needed to see his answer. Again with relief, disappointment, and confusion, I saw that B, too, is only looking for “new friends.” Does this explain the no touching? Are we really just new friends? Maybe all this awkward conversation only feels like flirting because of the guy-girl thing.

I’ve decided I’m not going to be the one to bring it up. At least, not until I’m sure if I feel romantic toward him or not. It could very well be that he’s just as confused about the whole thing as I am, and just as unprepared to bring it up. So I’m just going to wait, and keep getting to know him, and see what happens. Maybe in six months he’ll say, “So about the ‘new friends’ thing…” Yeah, six months. That sounds good.

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2 thoughts on “ITNOWIT #8: Insert sex joke here

  1. I don’t remember how I found your blog, but I feel like I could have written it myself (though not as well!). I also have mild cp. At 30, I was still a virgin, with VERY LITLLE dating experience. I tried the whole online dating thing and found it difficult. Sometimes I felt like dating was the ONLY thing made more difficult by my disability. I met my husband completely by chance 10 years ago through an acquaintance. He also has cp, which was just one of the many things we have in common. For what its worth, I think you have an awesome attitude – and you are very bravely throwing yourself into the whole dating thing!

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