First, I want to thank those who have left comments urging me to write. I’m flattered and grateful. I never intended to stop writing completely. It was just so much easier to write about each ‘encounter’ when it really felt like a big, weekly event. Now that B is my boyfriend and we’re spending increasing amounts of time together, so much happens I can barely keep up. I’ve finally caught up in my actual journal (had to buy a new one today!), so I feel more prepared now to record events here.
I left off after relating events from August 3rd/4th, when I first slept over at B’s. Sixteen days have passed. I’m amazed and fascinated by the way our relationship has continued to change and evolve over the past two weeks. It’s almost difficult to recall my mindset at various times along the way, since even now it feels different than just one day ago.
But I shall try. Perhaps I won’t write a book if I put things down in list form?
- Monday August 6th. B sent me an email that afternoon offering to bring over dinner and a movie, “tonight or tomorrow? Right now?” I had just spent the previous Thursday, Friday, and Saturday morning with him, and while the remaining part of the weekend had been restful, and while I was happy that he wanted so much to see me, I felt I needed a little more time to myself. Chores had been neglected in favor of lounging around on the weekend, and I just needed to catch up. I composed an email letting him know that tomorrow was better than tonight or right now, worrying over it and explaining myself. I don’t know how he felt when he read it, but when he came over the next day, he referred to the email in a teasing, yet understanding way.
- August 7th/8th. B came over. I’d prepared some dinner, and B contributed dish of veggies/noodles with peanut sauce. I told him I’d provide the food since he keeps feeding me, but he cooked anyway. The movies he brought were French, Latvian, and Russian, and while they looked interesting, I decided we should go to my room instead. ;-) In my journal I have written, “I don’t remember the details from this particular make out session anymore.” Alas. I guess that’s the way it goes–I no longer rush to record the play-by-play. I told B he could stay over as long as he left in time for me to get ready for work the next day. I gave him a spare toothbrush. Of course, I didn’t sleep well, but it was so new and lovely to feel kisses on my shoulder and gentle fingers running along the backs of my thighs throughout the night. (Turns out my thighs really like that. Who knew? Totally added to The Bedroom List.) In the morning, I really enjoyed the sight of him standing in my kitchen in his underwear, and I told him so. (When we were preparing for bed the night before, he’d asked if he was allowed to remove his shorts and sleep in his underwear. I said yes, but I kept pajama bottoms–shorts–on over mine.)
- August 9th. I went over to his place in the late afternoon. B had an interview in a neighboring town the next day, and I was going out of town for the weekend, so we wouldn’t have seen each other until the following week otherwise, to which B had said, “I don’t like that idea.” So I set the alarm on my phone to catch the second-to last bus, giving B enough time to get good rest before his interview the next day. When I arrived, he was making brownies (delighted sigh). Then he clicked a button and music came on. I recognized it immediately. It was the compilation cd I had lent him to listen to on the drive to the conference months ago. Ella Fitzgerald singing Gershwin. B sang/hummed/whistled along. We sat on the couch, holding hands, and singing along with Gershwin. Seriously. Then there was brownies and ice cream and making out. According to my journal, I was feeling more used to being on top. I do like kissing his neck and nibbling his earlobe from that angle. I don’t have much control of my hips/pelvis–they’re very stiff and isolating movement is practically impossible–but I think that was the night I attempted to move a bit more (still fully clothed here, people), and B said, “You’re good at this.” That was very nice to hear–he’s able to appreciate what I’m able to offer. Of course my alarm interrupted us and we dragged ourselves up. He walked me to the bus stop and we had our first public kiss.
- August 10th. Friday B called me at 9:45pm. He was at a beer tasting event downtown and wanted to know if he could stop by so I could judge his level of inebriation. Since he’s a home brewer and I don’t drink at all, he’s told me that he doesn’t drink to the point of drunkenness. I said sure, come over, even though I hadn’t showered that day, was wearing an old dress just for around the house, and was going to be catching a 9:25 train in the morning. B bicycled over in a few minutes and joked about my not wanting to kiss him since he’d taste of beer. I gripped his shirt, pulled him toward me, and kissed him right then. Happily, even though I really dislike the taste of beer, a bit of it lingering on the lips of my man is absolutely tolerable. It also felt really good to kiss him like that. I think I was able to do it because we’d been seeing each other so regularly. If a few days go by, I still feel like I have to work up to kissing him a little bit (though I may be over that now). He only stayed a couple hours, so we managed to stay fully clothed and on the couch. =) I asked him about the interview and we looked at his beer passport-type thing that described all the samples–flavor, mouthfeel, etc., and at an events calendar. It was really nice just to sit and talk and kiss and not take things to the bedroom–just because we’ve gone there doesn’t mean we have to end up there every time we’re together. This was the night I realized the way I was kissing was evolving. I was learning to participate more in the deep tongue kissing that B seems to really enjoy. I think the whole ritual of kissing–tongues in particular–is very strange, and I always wondered, what if I just don’t like it? I’m delighted to find that I do. I still can’t stop myself from thinking about it while it’s happening sometimes. Like, I can’t believe I’m doing this. This is so weird. Once, I started laughing when we were kissing. B said, “Uh-oh,” but I assured him it was just because I still find the activity so novel.
Still wrote a novel. And only covered five days. Part two to come.