When B and I first spent time in my room, he said to me, “I don’t know what you like,” and I responded, “I don’t know either.” After that day, of course, I had some ideas. I decided to email him a list entitled “What I Like (So Far).”
I discovered then that I enjoyed writing sexy emails. I could figure out how to say exactly what I wanted without blushing. I could be braver in writing. Not that I had anything terribly steamy to write (only mildly steamy). I listed things like holding hands and gentle kisses. At the end of the list, I told him it was his turn, if he wanted. He did write me a list back, although he kind of cheated because he included non-bedroom related things. I could have written lots of other things I like about him, but I’d restricted myself to physical interactions. Anyway, it was a lovely list, and it turned out we had some likes in common. (Warm breath on the ear, anyone?)
It was a lot of fun, both sending my list and receiving his. Happily, there were benefits I hadn’t anticipated. The next time we were together, we were both very clearly paying attention to the lists. =) He wrapped his arms tightly around me and I kissed his earlobe. I liked kissing his earlobe before, but now that I knew it was one of the things he most enjoyed, I enjoyed it more, too.
Anyone will tell you communication, both in the bedroom and outside of it, is an essential ingredient in a healthy relationship. Making these lists was an awesome way to establish personal preferences at the outset. Of course my list changes, evolves, and grows along with my relationship. I’m so glad I had the idea to write it early on. Now I think every couple should have a What I Like list. =)