September 26th. On the Wednesday following our first practice run, B came over and brought some dinner.
I had been doing a ton of research on lubes–what a previously unknown world! And I’d ordered a wedge from Bedroom Adventure Gear. That’s quite a world as well, let me tell you. I figured a wedge designed for the purpose would help us better than a smushed up pillow. I was also determined get better at the art of manual stimulation. I’d realized the problem was that I was trying to mimic what B did himself instead of bringing something new. I found a blog with some really great techniques and read through them a couple times. Then I set the stage. I gathered up a variety of lotions and oils I had on hand, since I hadn’t settled on and ordered any lubes yet. I put an extra cover over the bed in case of any messes. I left my reading pillow thing on the bed, so I could be propped up and use both hands.
All through dinner and the rest of the evening, B did not ask about another practice run. I thought that was really great of him. I knew he was thinking about it and probably told himself not to ask. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it either, and would have been happy trying out my new techniques and just making out. We had a lovely bit of time on my living room floor. I was showing him a box of books, and he got down on the floor next to me. Then we were lying down, and he curled up around my head so that we were kissing upside down. (I was looking at his chin.) In my journal I have written, “It was totally weird and fun because the top of our tongues were touching and it was a completely new feeling that made us laugh.” If you have a (romantically) loved one whom you’ve never kissed upside down, I heartily recommend it.
When we went into my room that night, I think he was both impressed/overwhelmed with my set up. I explained what I had in mind. (The idea was that I sat facing him, with his legs on either side of my waist as he lay back.) He was uncomfortable with that, and I understood of course, though I was disappointed. We lay down and kissed and talked, and I admitted that I was glad that even though we’d had a practice run, we don’t always have to have a practice run. B said, “I thought you’d say that.” I assured him that “there will be great sex in our future” and that it will just take time. We kissed some more, and as we did, B scooted me up into my reading pillow and put his legs over mine. I was happy that he wanted to try my set up (“You didn’t think I’d really say no to this, did you?”) and that he just needed time to adjust and do it his way.) He removed his pants and we looked through all the choices on my nightstand and selected a lotion. He left his boxers on, and I didn’t say anything, although I wanted to say, “But what about your balls?” =) I told him to let me know if I did something that was uncomfortable. I tried a technique that I’d read and asked him what he thought of it. He said, “I don’t know. It’s completely new.” I felt pretty pleased with myself. I did have to reapply lotion a lot, but it was in a pump bottle, so it wasn’t too disruptive. He told me I could stop if I was getting tired. I wasn’t though, because it was completely different, sitting up and using both hands, and using a variety of movements and rhythms. It was nice–I was giving him a massage, essentially, that happened to be an intimate one. After he came, he kissed my foot, since that was the part of me that was closest. I was happy, and relieved that I’d figured out a successful hand job! Then he said, “Your turn.” And I said, “What?!” He was kidding though. I didn’t want him to feel like he had to figure out my needs right then, just because I’d finally done it for him.
He stayed over that night, and in the morning he drove me to work. We decided I’d go over to his place on Friday.
September 28th. I got to his place at about 5:30 on Friday, all stressed out because I had to run a staff meeting the next day. (I work with college students, and Saturday is the only day all our schedules are open!) I had even thought about calling him and admitting I needed some alone time and space, rather than going directly from his place to the meeting in the morning. But I wanted to see him.
He made dinner and we watched Charade. And he showed me his solar oven. Yep, he made a solar oven. Isn’t he lovely? (We’d researched them together.) We went to bed early because I was tired, even though I told him he didn’t have to go to bed too, if he wasn’t ready yet. He did ask me about our next practice run then. I give the guy credit for making it a week! I answered, “In the morning.”
September 29th. So when we woke up Saturday morning, he was all kissy on my ears/back/neck, and I really appreciated that he was trying to have it all unfold in a natural/romantic/foreplay way. But of course, I totally had to pee, and get the lube while I was up. My Nex.planon was in full effect by then, and we wouldn’t need condoms anymore. B asked if I wanted/was ready to try lying on our sides, “or would that be too complicated?” I think he was hoping that after our first run, everything would be smooth and romantic like the movies. I had no such delusions, however. We didn’t put a pillow under my hips this time, but we still put my ankles on his shoulders. I do think it went a little more smoothly, and there was a little less pain. We asked each other how we were doing, and I asked him how far in he was. Not very. We added more lube, and he told me when he’d made it all the way. And that was fine. It really was just the stretching of the opening that was painful. I said, “I just need to relax, but it’s not happening.” And B said, “Yeah, with your feet in the air…” Of course it wasn’t a very relaxing position! I took deep breaths though, and could feel things release ever so slightly. He told me, “You can tell me to stop,” and after a moment I said I needed a break. We put lotion between my thighs and he got his release that way. The evidence of his release totally dripped down my legs when I stood up to get in the shower, and I didn’t mind a bit. =) I was sad to find a little blood when I used the bathroom. But I’d packed a cloth liner this time, and the pain had already lessened a lot by the time I was done with my shower. So I was encouraged overall.
When I got home from the staff meeting that afternoon, the first of several upcoming packages was on my doorstep. It was my new wedge–maybe my feet wouldn’t have to be in the air next time and we could actually kiss. =)