Success!

October 29th. B came over after work the following Monday, and I answered the door in my robe again. =) After we cleared the  dinner dishes, I don’t think we even sat down. I said, “Are we going to go make out?” And we did. On top of the covers, he took off his clothes and untied my robe. He made attempts at Piccadilly. I know I have to speak up and tell him when it’s good and when it isn’t. But it’s not easy–the sensations change so quickly. By the time I open my mouth to say, yes, there, he’s somewhere else.

Once he teased about my needing “another twenty minutes” and I said, “Have you been timing it?” I’m glad that he’s doing his best with foreplay, even though I’m not being particularly helpful.

B asked, “Do you want to try?”

I said, “I don’t know.” I was scared that it would be painful again.

He told me, “You’re in charge.”

We took out the (organic) oil-based lube and I put a generous amount on both of us, paying special attention to the part of me that was going to need to stretch the most. The thing was, I wasn’t aroused. Once again. I’d felt moments that were good, but nothing lasting to help me along the path of physiological arousal. I tried to say that we could just do a bit more, now that we were lubed, and if I felt ready I’d guide him in. I don’t think I was being clear though. I needed to state: I want you to move against me externally first. He’d done it a bit with his hands before, but never with lube.

So there I was, tasked with guiding him in, with no knowledge of what would happen when I did. We didn’t use a pillow or the wedge this time, but I had my knees bent up on either side of him, my legs almost all the way around him. He started in a bit, and I said, “Ow. Okay, don’t move.” But the “ow” was much less than it had been before. And as he stayed still and I breathed and got used to him, I found–to my extreme relief–that it did not hurt. When he made it all the way in, he pushed up against something that felt good. I was so happy to find it pleasurable that I held onto him and thought I might cry.

He said something about this not being a practice run anymore, and I agreed that this felt like the real thing. And that’s all the play-by-play I think I’ll write here. It was really nice, though at the end I felt like I had to pee like nobody’s business (that’s common, since he’s pressing up against the urethral sponge internally). Afterward I only felt a little stretched, no pain. Lying together after, he asked me what I thought and how I felt. And I was relieved to be able to tell him I felt good.

Before he left he kissed me and said, “To our success.”

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3 thoughts on “Success!

  1. I know this isn’t something people are usually congratulated for…but after reading about what you’ve had to go through to get to this point and all, it might be fitting to write:
    Congratulations!

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